What is a tea ceremony?
Tea Ceremony Timeline
5-6 Months
Scope out a venue Reach out to potential places to host your tea ceremony. Make sure they can accommodate all your guests and provide additional supplies (chairs, cups, tables, etc.). Ask if they have a place for you to get ready so you can also plan accordingly.
Decide what to wear There are many wedding qipaos/cheongsam styles. If you want something modern and high quality, check out our collection of cheongsams. Order your wedding cheongsam early and leave yourself with more buffer time for any alterations. If you don't want to wear a qipao, consider a simple red dress since red is a lucky color in Chinese culture.
3-4 months
Send in your dress measurements & accessorize If you're going with a custom size wedding qipao, make sure to complete your measurements in time to make your qipao. Pair your cheongsam with a hairpin, gold jewelry etc.
Finalize your guest list and send out invitations While your relatives might already expect to be at the tea ceremony, you can still send out cute Asian-inspired invitations to formally invite them.
Book the venue Nice venues get reserved quickly so be sure to lock down your tea ceremony location.
1-2 Months
Purchase decorations & tea ceremony supplies You'll need a tea pot, tray, tea, enough tea cups, kneeling pillows, decorations, and any thing else you want to include (extra red envelopes, etc.)
Assign roles to your bridal party Typically, the Maid of Honor will hold the tray and tea cups next to the bride & groom during the tea ceremony. The rest of the bridal party can help set up the venue/ decorate.
Day Before
Print out your guest list Familiarize yourself with the order in which you're serving.
Practice the etiquette and the script Run through the motions and practice saying your relatives' names and the phrase "Please drink the tea." in Chinese.
Pack everything you need the night before So you're ready to go the next day and only have to worry about getting ready and setting up the venue.
Tea Ceremony Planning Cheat Sheet
Common Questions about the Tea Ceremony
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What is a Chinese tea ceremony?
The tea ceremony is a common wedding tradition in Asian cultures when the bride and groom pay their respects and show their gratitude towards their parents, new in-laws, and elders by serving them tea. In turn, their families will give their blessings to the newlyweds by gifting them “hong baos” (red envelopes with money). -
What do you wear for a wedding tea ceremony?
Typically, the bride wears a floor or ankle-length red cheongsam (qipao) dress featuring a mandarin collar. A more traditional Chinese wedding dress you can wear is the qun kwa. The groom will typically wear a tux or suit to match or opt to wear a more traditional brocade jacket (changshan). For wedding cheongsam ideas, check out our guide here. -
When & where do you host the Chinese tea ceremony? How long does it last?
Traditionally, the tea ceremony was held at the family home of the bride or groom, but it's also common nowadays to host the tea ceremony at a restaurant, hotel, or at a beautiful outdoor park/pagoda. Check out this article for ideas on where to host your tea ceremony. -
What order do you serve in?
Usually your parents are served tea first, followed by your grandparents and then the rest of the extended family (uncles/aunties, elder siblings, elder cousins) in order of seniority. The groom’s family typically goes first followed by the bride’s, but you can also choose to alternate families between rounds. -
Do both the bride and groom serve tea?
Yes! The groom kneels on the right and serves the tea first while the bride kneels on the left and goes after. Both the bride and groom serve tea to the same person. -
What do you say when you're serving tea?
You refer to the relative by their relationship to you and say, "Mom, please drink the tea." Typically, this is said in Chinese (Mandarin or Cantonese). You can refer to our Chinese relatives names 101 guide for help. -
Who holds the tea? How much tea and how many cups are needed?
Your Maid of Honor will stand next to the bride and groom and hold the tea cups filled with tea on a serving tray. After each round, the Maid of Honor will bring over a new set of tea cups filled with tea. You should allocate 4 cups per couple you serve (or 2 cups per person you serve) and have enough tea to make 3 pots of tea. -
What are the red envelopes for?
Red envelopes are gifted to the couple by your elders after each serving. It's both a symbol of blessing to the newlyweds and also a practical gift filled with cash inside. -
What are Chinese wedding door games?
Chinese door games, known as chuangmen, originated from the idea that a bride is a prized daughter, worth so much that her family refuses to marry her off easily. Therefore, a man worthy of her hand must pass certain “tests” to claim his bride-to-be. Some fun door games you can include before your tea ceremony include: No Money, No Honey, the Four Flavors of Life, and Q&A Tests. Learn how to play these and 8 other door games here.
Tips from Brides
Both the bride and groom will take turns serving the same person. Each person served will be drinking 2 cups of tea so don't pour too much tea into each cup!
You'll need a lot of cups (4 per couple you serve) for the ceremony! Plan on either having someone rinse and bring out new cups after each round or using disposable cups.
You'll need a place to store all the red envelopes you'll be gifted from your elders during the tea ceremony. Have your Maid of Honor help keep them somewhere safe.